she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
