Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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