I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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