i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
