I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
