so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
