He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No subtext here. People are naked.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
