just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize