I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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