There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
True college students do jello shots in the library
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
