honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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