Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
