Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
