The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
