Jerry, you need to find god
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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