the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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