We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
