I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
