i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
