So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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