I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
