Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
