new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
