North Korea, Best Korea!
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
