is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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