my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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