oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
