My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
