Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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