no, he came in my armpit
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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