Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
