Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
