I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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