better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
