I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
