just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
