oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
