ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize