is your mom at the bar?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
