brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
