we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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