Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
