ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
