I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Porn is love you can see.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
