i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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