so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
