Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
