You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
