I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize