How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
