so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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