I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize