i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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