so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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