Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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