you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
