i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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